【英汉对照】勇敢不是“即使害怕还要去做”，而是听从内心的小声音

勇敢不是“即使害怕还要去做”，而是听从内心的小声音

This is What Brave Means

导读：

为人父母，我们常常会鼓励宝贝“勇敢点儿，不要害怕。”可是，什么都不怕就是勇敢吗？鼓励宝贝忠于自我，哪怕为此要抵抗住巨大的压力，才是勇敢的真谛。

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作者：Glennon Melton 译者：考拉妈妈

Glennon Melton，美国知名自媒体人，亲子教育网站Momastery.com的创始人，《纽约时报》畅销回忆录《继续，战士/Carry on，Warrior》的作者。

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From my inbox:

【读者来信】

Dear G,

亲爱的G：

Help. I can't figure this out.....

帮帮我，有个问题想不通……

Imagine a bunch of adults who adore their kids and grandkids are sitting in a boat while two 9-year-old cousins (boy and girl - 18 days apart in age) are on a cliff, contemplating jumping into the lake below. All the voices from the boat are yelling to the cousins, "You are so brave! Be brave! You can do this! Be brave!" They yell this again and again and over and over and louder and louder until the kids jump.

想象一下，一帮成年人坐在小船里，他们都很爱自己的儿女跟孙辈。同时，有一对同是9岁大只差18天的表兄妹在悬崖边上，考虑要不要跳到下面的湖里。船上的大人们对他们喊：“你们很勇敢的！勇敢点儿！你们能做到的！再勇敢点儿！”他们喊了一遍又一遍，声音一遍比一遍大，直到最后，两个小孩纵身一跳。

This does not sound like the same "brave" that I couple with "kind" and run my house by (thanks to you. So what the hell is it???? What is this thing we keep calling "brave" and what happens when you climb back down the cliff and swim to the boat??

但是，此勇敢非彼勇敢。我时常把“勇敢”拿来跟“善良”并列，我还把“勇敢”列入了家规（拜您所赐：）。所以到底什么是勇敢？我们一直说的“勇敢”到底是什么？如果表兄妹俩不跳下去，而是从悬崖上爬下来再游到小船上又如何？

Brave is not succumbing to scary crap, is it? Isn't it also brave to simply consider the leap? WHAT IS BRAVE?

勇敢不应该是对吓人的具有挑唆性言语的屈服吧？认真考虑要不要跳，这不也算是一种勇敢吗？到底什么是勇敢？

Seeking the "G spin" to make it all make sense.

希望您能帮我弄明白这个问题。
Love,
Courtney

此致
考特尼




【作者的回信】
Dear Courtney,

亲爱的考特尼：
I recently took my daughters to one of those mall pagodas to get their ears pierced. When it was our turn, my younger daughter took a deep breath, climbed into the chair, closed her eyes and said, "OK! I'm ready!"

最近，我带我的女儿们去商场的美容店打耳洞。轮到我们的时候，我的小女儿深吸了一口气，爬上椅子坐好，闭上眼睛，然后说：“好了！我准备好了！”

The piercer smiled and laughed and several onlookers said, "Look at her! So brave! That little one is so brave!" When her little sister hopped off the chair, my older daughter hung back, eyes wide, arm around my leg. Everyone looked at her expectantly and the piercer waved her over, but she stood still and said in a small voice, "I changed my mind. I'm not ready today."

打耳洞师笑了起来，几个围观者说：“看这孩子！真勇敢啊！这个小姑娘真勇敢！”当我的小女儿从椅子上下来，我的大女儿蒂什（Tish）畏缩了，眼睛瞪得大大的，紧抱着我的腿。每个人都充满期待地看着她，打洞师挥手示意让她过去，但她站着不动，低声说：“我改变主意了，今天还没准备好。”

Before I could speak, the well-meaning piercer said, "Sure you are, sweetie! Be brave! Your little sister did it! It doesn't hurt at all!" Tish's grasp on my leg tightened and I flashed hot red inside. I knelt down to Tish and said, "Wow. That is SO BRAVE, honey. Even though all these people are here and want you to do this to your ears-you listened to yourself instead of to them. I am so proud of you. Trusting yourself to make decisions about your own body is so brave. You are BRAVE, Tish, in your way. Just like Amma is brave in her way. Let's go. You'll know when you're ready. I trust you to know."

在我开口之前，好心的打洞师说：“不怕的，宝贝！勇敢点！你妹妹都搞定了！一点儿都不疼！”蒂什抓我腿抓得更紧了，我感觉都要被她抓出红印了。我跪下来对蒂什说：“哇，宝贝你很勇敢。即便这么多人都想要你打耳洞，你还是没理会他们，听从了自己的想法。我为你感到骄傲。在为自己的身体做决定的时候，相信自己是一件非常勇敢的事情。蒂什，你用你自己的方式去勇敢。你和艾玛（Amma）一样，她也有她自己的方式去勇敢。我们走吧，你自己会知道你什么时候可以准备好，我相信你会知道的。”

We have to teach our children (and ourselves) that caution is often a sign of courage.


That often NO is as brave an answer as YES. Because the little girl who says no in the face of pressure to pierce her ears or jump off a cliff might become a bigger girl who says no in the face of pressure to bong a beer or bully a peer. Whether her answer is YES OR NO- give me a little girl who goes against the grain, who pleases her own internal voice before pleasing others. Give me that girl so I can call her BRAVE loudly and proudly in front of the whole world. Give me a girl who has the wisdom to listen to her OWN voice and the courage to SPEAK IT OUT LOUD. Even if it disappoints others. Especially then.

• 我们必须教会孩子（还有我们自己）谨慎往往是勇敢的标志。
  
  

“说不”和“说是”都可以是勇敢的回答。一个小女孩这次可以对着期待看她打耳洞的众人说不，或者对要求她从悬崖上跳下的呼声说不，下次就可能对干掉一大杯啤酒或者欺负同龄人说不。无论她的回答是“是”还是“不”，都意味着这是一个拒绝随大流的女孩，一个把遵从自己意愿置于取悦众人之上的女孩。我会大声地骄傲地在全世界面前告诉这个女孩她有多勇敢。这样的女孩是智慧的，她会听从自己内心的声音，并有勇气大声讲出来。即便是，尤其是，在旁人不愿意听到的情况下。

As my little brave Tish said to me the other day in the car, "Mom, how come everyone says YOLO to try to get people to do dangerous stuff? How 'bout be SAFE because YOLO???? You Only Live Once, so try not to get yourself dead so soon." (Tao Of Tentative Tish right there, yes ma'am. BRAVE.)

不久前的一天，我勇敢的蒂什在车里跟我说：“妈妈，为什么人们都把‘你只能活一次’这句话挂在嘴边，然后怂恿别人干危险的事情？不是应该做安全的事情吗？既然你只能活一次，那就更不应该去作死了。”（蒂什还真是深谙斟酌之道。勇敢的孩子。）

I'm with you, Courtney. If we are going to tell our kids to be brave, we must also tell them what brave means. Over time I have come to believe that brave does not mean what we think it does. It does not mean "being afraid and doing it anyway." Nope. Brave means listening to the still small voice inside and DOING AS IT SAYS. Regardless of what the rest of the world is saying. Brave implies WISDOM. Brave people are not simply those who JUMP every time. They do not necessarily "do it anyway." Brave people block out all the yelling voices and listen to the deepest voice inside the quietest, stillest place in their heart. If that voice says JUMP, they jump. And if that voice says TURN AROUND -- they turn around, and they hold their head high. Often the one who turns around shows GREAT BRAVERY, because she has been true to herself even in the face of pressure to ignore her still, small voice and perform for the crowd.

• 勇敢不是“即便害怕还要去做”，而是听从内心的小声音。
  
  

我明白你，考特尼。如果我们要让孩子们勇敢，就必须告诉他们勇敢的含义。这么久以来，我终于明白，勇敢的含义跟我们惯常以为的不同。勇敢不是“即便害怕还要去做”，而是听从内心的小声音。小声音怎么说，就怎么去做，而不管全世界怎么看。勇敢即智慧。勇敢的人不是那些说跳就跳的人，他们未必会“说做就去做”，勇敢是抵挡住别人的杂音，仔细聆听自己心底最安宁角落的声音。如果那个声音说跳，那他们就会去跳。如果那个声音说回头，他们就会转身，并且在转身的同时仍然昂首挺胸。表现出极大的勇敢的那个人，往往是回头转身的那个人，因为她忠实于自我，即便众人给了她压力要她去忽略自己心底的小声音。

Brave is VERY SPECIFIC and EXTREMELY personal.


It can't be judged by people on the outside. Just can't. Sometimes brave means letting everyone else think you're a coward. Sometimes brave is letting everyone else down but yourself. Amma's brave is often: loud and GO FOR IT and Tish's brave is often: quiet and wait for it. They are both BRAVE GIRLS. Because each is true to herself.

• 勇敢是具体的，并且因人而异。
  
  

它不能以外人的眼光来评断，不能就是不能。有时候，勇敢意味着所有人都以为你懦弱。有时候，勇敢意味着让除了你自己以外的所有人失望。艾玛的勇敢很常见：高调且果断；蒂什的勇敢也很常见：安静而斟酌。她俩都是勇敢的姑娘。因为她们忠实于自我。

Brave people only answer to ONE voice and that is the voice that arises within. Brave people are just people who trust themselves more than they trust the crowd.

勇敢的人只听从一个声音，那个由内而发的声音。勇敢的人是那些相信自己胜过相信旁人的人。

Brave is: To Thine Own Self Be True.


And Brave parents say: I trust you, little one -- to Be Still and Know. I'll back you up.

• 勇敢就是对自己忠实。
  
  

勇敢的家长会说，我信你，孩子。静下心来想清楚。我支持你的决定。