李开复写给女儿的一封信

女儿读大学前的全家福

As we drove off from Columbia, I wanted to write a letter toyouto tell you all that is on my mind.
首先，我想告诉你我们为你感到特别骄傲。进入哥伦比亚大学证明你是一个全面发展的优秀学生，你的学业、艺术和社交技能最近都有卓越的表现，无论是你高中微积分第一名，时尚的设计，绘制的球鞋，还是在“模拟联合国”的演说，你毫无疑问已经是一个多才多艺的女孩。你的父母为你感到骄傲，你也应该像我们一样为自己感到自豪。
First, I want to tell you how proud we are. Getting intoColumbiais a real testament of what a great well-rounded studentyou are.Your academic, artistic, and social skills have trulyblossomed inthe last few years. Whether it is getting the highestgrade inCalculus, completing your elegant fashion design,successfullyselling your painted running shoes, or becoming one ofthe toporators in Model United Nations, you have become a talentedandaccomplished young woman. You should be as proud of yourself asweare.
我会永远记得第一次将你抱在臂弯的那一刻，一种新鲜激动的感觉瞬间触动了我的心，那是一种永远让我陶醉的感觉，就是那种将我们的一生都联结在一起的“父女情结”。我也常常想起我唱着催眠曲轻摇你入睡，当我把你放下的时候，常常觉得既解脱又惋惜，一方面我想，她终于睡着了!另一方面，我又多么希望自己可以多抱你一会儿。我还记得带你到运动场，看着你玩得那么开心，你是那样可爱，所有人都非常爱你。
I will always remr the first moment I held you in my arms. Ifelta tingling sensation that directly touched my heart. It wasanintoxicating feeling I will always have. It must bethat“father-daughter connection” which will bind us for life. Iwillalways remr singing you lullaby while I rocked you to sleep.When Iput you down, it was always with both relief (she finallyfellasleep!) and regret (wishing I could hold you longer). And Iwillalways remr taking you to the playground, and watching youhavingso much fun. You were so cute and adorable, and that iswhyeverybody loved you so.
你不但长得可爱，而且是个特别乖巧的孩子。你从不吵闹、为人着想，既听话又有礼貌。当你三岁我们建房子的时候，每个周末十多个小时你都静静地跟着我们去运建筑材料，三餐在车上吃着汉堡，唱着儿歌，唱累了就睡觉，一点都不娇气不抱怨。你去上周日的中文学习班时，尽管一点也不觉得有趣，却依然很努力。我们做父母的能有像你这样的女儿真的感到非常幸运。
You have been a great kid ever since you were born, alwaysquiet,empathetic, attentive, and well-mannered. You were three whenwebuilt our house. I remr you quietly followed us every weekendformore than ten hours a day to get building supplies. You put upwiththat boring period without a fuss, happily ate hamburgerseverymeal in the car, sang with Barney until you fell asleep. Whenyouwent to Sunday Chinese school, you studied hard even though itwasno fun for you. I cannot believe how lucky we are as parentstohave a daughter like you.
你也是个很好的姐姐。虽然你们姐妹以前也会打架，但是长大后，你们真的成为了好朋友。妹妹很爱你，很喜欢逗你笑，她把你当成她的榜样看待。我们开车离开哥大后，她非常想你，我知道你也很想她。世界上最宝贵的就是家人。和父母一样，妹妹就是你最可以信任的人。随着年龄的增长，你们姐妹之间的情谊不变，你们互相照应，彼此关心，这就是我最希望见到的事情了。在你的大学四年，有空时你一定要常常跟妹妹视频聊聊天，写写电子邮件。
You have been an excellent elder sister. Even though you twohadyour share of fights, the last few years you have becomebestfriends. Your sister loves you so much, and she loves to makeyoulaugh. She looks up to you, and sees you as her role model. Asyousaw when we departed, she misses you so much. And I know thatyoumiss her just as much. There is nothing like family, and otherthanyour parents, your sister is the one person who you can trustandconfide in. She will be the one to take care of you, and theoneyou must take care of. There is nothing we wish more than thatyoursisterhood will continue to bond as you grow older, and thatyouwill take care of each other throughout your lives. For thenextfour years, do have a short video chat with her every few days,anddo email her when you have a chance.
大学将是你人生最重要的时光，在大学里你会发现学习的真谛。你以前经常会问到“这个课程有什么用”，这是个好问题，但是我希望你理解：“教育的真谛就是当你忘记一切所学到的东西之后所剩下的东西。”我的意思是，最重要的不是你学到的具体的知识，而是你学习新事物和解决新问题的能力。这才是大学学习的真正意义――这将是你从被动学习转向自主学习的阶段，之后你会变成一个很好的自学者。所以，即便你所学的不是生活里所急需的，也要认真看待大学里的每一门功课，就算学习的技能你会忘记，学习的能力是你将受用终身的。
College will be the most important years in your life. It isincollege that you will truly discover what learning is about.Youoften question “what good is this course”. I encourage you tobeinquisitive, but I also want to tell you : “education is whatyouhave left after all that is taught is forgotten”. What I meanbythat is the materials taught isn’t as important as you gainingtheability to learn a new subject, and the ability to analyze anewproblem. That is really what learning in college is about �thiswill be the period where you go from teacher-taughttomaster-inspired, after which you must become self-learner. Sodotake each subject seriously, and even if what you learnisn’tcritical for your life, the skills of learning will besomethingyou cherish forever.
不要被教条所束缚，任何问题都没有一个唯一的简单的答案。还记得当我帮助你高中的辩论课程时，我总是让你站在你不认可的那一方来辩论吗?我这么做的理由就是希望你能够理解：看待一个问题不应该非黑即白，而是有很多方法和角度。当你意识到这点的时候，你就会成为一个很好的解决问题者。这就是“批判的思维”――你的一生都会需要的最重要的思考方式，这也意味着你还需要包容和支持不同于你的其他观点。我永远记得我去找我的博士导师提出了一个新论题，他告诉我：“我不同意你，但我支持你。”多年后，我认识到这不仅仅是包容，而是一种批判式思考，更是令人折服的领导风格，现在这也变成了我的一部分。我希望这也能成为你的一部分。
Do not fall into the trap of dogma. There is no singlesimpleanswer to any question. Remr during your high school debateclass,I always asked you to take on the side that you don’t believein? Idid that for a reason -- things rarely “black and white”, andthereare always many ways to look at a problem. You will become abetterproblem solver if you recognized that. This is called“criticalthinking”, and it is the most important thinking skill youneed foryour life. This also means you need to become tolerantandsupportive of others. I will always remr when I went to myPh.D.advisor and proposed a new thesis topic. He said “I don’tagreewith you, but I’ll support you.” After the years, I havelearnedthis isn’t just flexibility, it is encouragement ofcriticalthinking, and an empowering style of leadership, and it hasbecomea part of me. I hope it will become a part of you too.
在大学里你要追随自己的激情和兴趣，选你感兴趣的课程，不要困扰于别人怎么说或怎么想。史蒂夫・乔布斯曾经说过，在大学里你的热情会创造出很多点，在你随后的生命中你会把这些点串联起来。在他著名的斯坦福毕业典礼演讲中，他举了一个很好的例子：他在大学里修了看似毫无用处的书法，而十年后，这成了苹果Macintosh里漂亮字库的基础，而因为Macintosh有这么好的字库，才带来了桌面出版和今天的办公软件(例如微软Office)。他对书法的探索就是一个点，而苹果Macintosh把多个点联结成了一条线。所以不要太担心将来你要做什么样的工作，也不要太急功近利。假如你喜欢日语或韩语，就去学吧，尽管你的爸爸曾说过那没什么用：)尽兴地选择你的点吧，要有信念有一天机缘来临时，你会找到自己的人生使命，画出一条美丽的曲线。
Follow your passion in college. Take courses you think youwillenjoy. Don’t be trapped in what others think or say. SteveJobssays when you are in college, your passion will create manydots,and later in your life you will connect them. In his greatspeechgiven at Stanford commencement , he gave the great examplewhere hetook calligraphy, and a decade later, it became the basisof thebeautiful Macintosh fonts, which later ignited desktoppublishing,and brought wonderful tools like Microsoft Word to ourlives. Hisexpedition into calligraphy was a dot, and the Macintoshbecame theconnecting line. So don’t worry too much about what jobyou willhave, and don’t be too utilitarian, and if you likeJapanese orKorean, go for it, even if your dad thinks “it’s notuseful.” ：)Enjoy picking your dots, and be assured one day you willfind yourcalling, and connect a beautiful curve through thedots.
在功课上要尽力，但不要给自己太多压力。你妈妈和我在成绩上对你没什么要求，只要你能顺利毕业并在这四年里学到了些东西，我们就会很高兴了。即便你毕业时没有获得优异的成绩，你的哥伦比亚学位也将带你走得很远。所以别给自己压力。在你高中生活的最后几个月，因为压力比较小，大学申请也结束了，你过得很开心，但是在最近的几个星期，你好像开始紧张起来。(你注意到你紧张时会咬指甲吗?)千万别担心，最重要的是你有在学习，你需要的唯一衡量是你的努力程度。成绩只不过是虚荣的人用以吹嘘和慵懒的人所恐惧的无聊数字而已，而你既不虚荣也不慵懒。
Do your best in classes, but don’t let pressure get to you.Yourmother and I have no expectations for your grades. If yougraduateand learn something in your four years, we would feelhappy. YourColumbia degree will take you far, even if you don’tgraduate withhonors. So please don’t give yourself pressure。Duringyour last fewmonths in high school, you were so happy because therewas littlepressure and college applications are finished. But inthe past fewweeks, we saw you are beginning to worry (did you knowyou biteyour nails when you are nervous?). Please don’t be worried.Theonly thing that matters is that you learned. The only metricyoushould use is that you tried. Grades are just silly lettersthatgive the vain people something to brag, and the lazypeoplesomething to fear. You are too good to be either.
最重要的是在大学里你要交一些朋友，快乐生活。大学的朋友往往是生命中最好的朋友，因为在大学里你和朋友能够近距离交往。另外，在一块儿成长，一起独立，很自然地你们就会紧紧地系在一起，成为密友。你应该挑选一些真诚诚恳的朋友，跟他们亲近，别在乎他们的爱好、成绩、外表甚至性格。你在高中的最后两年已经交到了一些真正的朋友，所以尽可以相信自己的直觉，再交一些新朋友吧。你是一个真诚的人，任何人都会喜欢跟你做朋友的，所以要自信、外向、主动一点，如果你喜欢某人，就告诉她，就算她拒绝了，你也没有损失什么。以最大的善意去对人，不要有成见，要宽容。人无完人，只要他们很真诚，就信任他们，对他们友善。他们将给你相同的回报，这是我成功的秘密――我以诚待人，信任他人(除非他们做了失信于我的事)。有人告诉这样有时我会被占便宜，他们是对的，但是我可以告诉你：以诚待人让我得到的远远超过我失去的。在我做管理的18年里，我学到一件很重要的事――要想得到他人的信任和尊重，只有先去信任和尊重他人。无论是管理、工作、交友，这点都值得你参考。
Most importantly, make friends and be happy. College friendsareoften the best in life, because during college you are closertothem physically than to your family. Also, goingthroughindependence and adulthood is a natural bonding experience.Pick afew friends and become really close to them � pick the oneswho aregenuine and sincere to you. Don’t worry about theirhobbies,grades, looks, or even personalities. You have developedsome realfriendships in high school in your last two years, sotrust yourinstinct, and make new friends. You are a genuine andsincereperson � anyone would enjoy being your friend, so beconfident,outgoing, and pro-active. If you think you like someone,tell her.You have very little to lose. Give people the benefit ofthe doubt;don’t stereotype and be forgiving. People are notperfect, so aslong as they are genuine and sincere, trust them andbe good tothem. They will give back. This is my secret of success �that I amgenuine with people and trust them (unless they dosomething tolose my trust). Some people tell me that occasionally Iwould betaken advantage of. They are right, but I can tell you thatthatloss is nothing compared to what I gained. In my last 18yearsleading people, I have realized that only one thing matters �togain the trust and respect of others, and to do so, you needtotrust and respect others first. Whether it is for management,work,or friendship, this is something you should ponder.
要和你高中时代的朋友保持联系，但是不要用他们来取代大学的友谊，也不要把全部的时间都花在老朋友身上，因为那样你就会失去交新朋友的机会了。
Do keep your high school friends, and stay connected to them,butdo not use them as substitutes for college friendship, and donotspend too much time with them, because that would eat intoyourtime to make new friends.
你还要早点开始规划你的暑假――你想做什么?你想呆在哪儿?你想学点什么?你在大学里学习是否会让你有新的打算?我觉得你学习艺术设计的计划很不错，你应该想好你该去哪儿学习相应的课程。我们当然希望你回到北京，但是最终的决定是你的。
Start planning for your summers early � what would you like todo?Where would you like to live? What would you like to learn?Whathave you learned in college that might change your mind? Ithinkyour plan of studying fashion is good, and you should decidewhereyou want to be, and get into the right courses. We of coursehopeyou come back to Beijing, but you should go where you think isbestfor you.
不管是暑假计划，功课规划，抑或是选专业，管理时间，你都应该负责你的人生。过去不管是申请学校、设计课外活动或者选择最初的课程，我都从旁帮助了你不少。以后，我仍然会一直站你身旁，但是现在是你自己掌舵的时候了。我常常记起我生命中那些令人振奋的时刻――在幼儿园决定跳级，决定转到计算机科学专业，决定离开学术界选择，决定回中国，决定选择Google，乃至最近选择创办我的新公司。有能力进行选择意味着你会过上自己想要的生活。生命太短暂了，你不能过别人想要你过的生活。掌控自己的生命是很棒的感觉，试试吧，你会爱上它的!
Whether it is summer-planning, or coursework planning, orpickinga major, or managing your time, you should take control ofyourlife. In the past, I have helped you quite a bit, whether it isincollege application, designing your extracurricular activities,orpicking the initial coursework. I will always be there for you,butthe time has come for you to be in the driver’s seat � this isyourlife, and you need to be in control. I will always remrtheexhilarating feeling in my life � that I got to decide toskipkindergarten, that I got to decide to change to computersciencemajor, that I got to decide to leave academia for , that Igot todecide to go to China, that I got to decide to go to Google,andmost recently, that I got to decide to start my own business.Beingable to decide means you get to live the life that you wantto.Life is too short to live the life others do or others wantyou.Being in control feels great. Try it, and you’ll love it!
我告诉你妈妈，我在写这封信，问她有什么想对你说的，她想了想，说“让她好好照顾自己”，很简单却饱含着真切的关心――这一向是你深爱的妈妈的特点。这短短的一句话，是她想提醒你很多事情，比如要记得自己按时吃药，好好睡觉，保持健康的饮食，适量运动，不舒服的时候要去看医生等等。中国有句古语，说“身体发肤，受之父母，不敢毁伤，孝之始也”。这句话的意思用比较新的方法诠释就是说：父母最爱的就是你，所以照顾好自己就是孝顺最好的方法。当你成为母亲的那天，你就会理解这些。在那天之前，听妈妈的，你一定要好好照顾自己。
I told your mom I’m writing this letter, and asked what shewantedme to say. She thought and said: “just ask her to take careofherself.” Simple but deeply caring � that is how your mother is,andthat is why you love her so much. In this simple sentence isherhope that you will become independent in the way you take careofyourself � that you will remr to take your medicine, that youwillget enough sleep, that you will have a balanced diet, that youwillget some exercise, and that you will go see a doctor wheneveryoudon’t feel good. An ancient Chinese proverb says that themostimportant thing to be nice to your parents is to take careofyourself. This is because your parents love you so much, andthatif you are well, they will have comfort. You will understandthisone day when you become a mother. But in the meantime,pleaselisten to your mother and take care of yourself.
大学是你自由时间最多的四年。大学是你第一次学会独立的四年。大学是可塑性最强的四年。大学是犯错代价最低的四年。
College is the four years where you have:・ the greatest amountoffree time.・ the first chance to be independent.・ themostflexibility to change.・ the lowest risk for makingmistakes.
所以，珍惜你的大学时光吧，好好利用你的空闲时间，成为掌握自己命运的独立思考者，发展自己的多元化才能，大胆地去尝试，通过不断的成功和挑战来学习和成长，成为融汇中西的人才。
So please treasure your college years � make the best of yourfreetime, become an independent thinker in control of yourdestiny,evolve yourself into a bi-cultural talent, be bold toexperiment,learn and grow through your successes andchallenges.
当我在2005年面对人生最大的挑战时，你给了我大大的拥抱，还跟我说了一句法语“bonnechance”。这句话代表“祝你勇敢，祝你好运!”现在，我也想跟你说同样的话，bonnechance，我的天使和公主，希望哥伦比亚成为你一生中最快乐的四年，希望你成为你梦想成为的人!
When I faced the greatest challenge and opportunity in my lifein2005, you gave me a big hug and said “bonne chance”, whichmeans“good luck” and “good courage”. Now I do the same for you.Bonnechance, my angel and princess. May Columbia become thehappiestfour years in your life, and may you blossom into just whatyoudream to be.

　　爱你的， Love,

　　爸爸(和妈妈) Dad (& Mom)